Always Wanting Change

I've asked my friend Megan to write this wonderful post. I've known her for almost 18 years (since I was 12!) and seen what a wonderful woman/mother she's become. I love the fact that so many of us have different trials we deal with and it goes to prove that 'a trial is a trial'. It may not be YOUR trial, but it is another's.  

When Keri asked me to write a post for her blog I thought sure, I have been through a lot of trials in my life.  Then when I sat down to write, my mind went blank, that or I've had too many trials that I couldn't figure out which one to talk about.  I think I have come down to one and it is my trial of  always wanting change. I know that you all are probably thinking that it isn't much of a trial, but for me it is an on going trial that never ends. I have struggled with this my whole life, it started when I was young when I would rearrange my room every Sunday.  I went to hair school, so you can only imagine how many hairstyles and colors I have had over the years, I even bought a few wigs because my hair couldn't be changed enough.  Now my change consists of moving my own family to a few different states, a few different jobs, and a few different schools. Something always has to change. If my husband knew this about me before hand he might have run the other way.  It sounds silly as I write this down, but I really have a hard time with this. Since DJ and I have been married (9 years) we have lived in 3 different states, moved to 11 different places. We just moved 2 months ago and I am already itching for something new. I keep telling myself that I need to be happy where we are at and settle in one spot. Having kids in school has helped because I know that I wouldn't pull them out during school, and they are making friends, and I really like where we are at (my home town) But once again for some reason in the back of my head I am always looking for that change, that Adventure. My cell phone is dangerous to me because I am constantly looking at the Realtor App to find a house that I know that we couldn't get, or the Indeed Job app for finding my husband a better paying job so that maybe if I found one that we could move somewhere and have that adventure. These apps get me in trouble with my husband and just make me sad that I am stuck where I am. I just had our 5^th baby 5 months ago and already knowing that she is my last scares me, because I will not be pregnant or have a newborn again. I know I am crazy and loved being pregnant :) The older I get the more I realize that I just am never quite happy with where I am in life. I don't know if Heavenly Father is trying to torture me with always wanting to move for that change and helping me grow in some way, or that I need to learn how to sit in one spot and choose to be happy with where I am in life. We do have an option to buy the house we are currently renting and it scares me to take that leap. What if something else comes up and we have to move? What if something else comes along that is better? I know that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I get told that all the time. I have loved every adventure we have been on and have grown from it, but have found something that I didn't like and got out of the situation. Since this is an on going trial for me I hope that the longing for change will subside and that Heavenly Father will help me learn to be happy with what I have. I have so much to be grateful for and don't have anything to complain about not getting what I want. I have a loving husband that works his butt off for me so that I can stay home with our 5 Beautiful kids. I hope that with the continue of prayer, daily scripture study that I will continue to be grateful and learn to love where I am in life. This post might not be helpful for anyone, but I am glad that I was asked. Writing this post has helped me realize that I don't have it bad at all and maybe I  need to just channel my changes through other things to help change the scenery and go explore with my family to have that Adventure in my life.