Why not me?

"It may be safely assumed that no person has ever lived
 entirely free of suffering and sorrow, nor has there ever been a period in human history that did not have its full share of turmoil and misery.

When the pathway of life takes a cruel turn, there is the temptation to ask the question “Why me?” At times there appears to be no light at the end of the tunnel, no sunrise to end the night’s darkness. We feel encompassed by the disappointment of shattered dreams and the despair of vanished hopes. We feel abandoned, heartbroken, alone. We are inclined to view our own personal misfortunes through the distorted prism of pessimism. We become impatient for a solution to our problems, forgetting that frequently the heavenly virtue of patience is required.

The difficulties which come to us present us with the real test of our ability to endure. A fundamental question remains to be answered by each of us: Shall I falter, or shall I finish? Some do falter as they find themselves unable to rise above their challenges. To finish involves enduring to the very end of life itself." -Thomas S. Monson 

This post won't be great and lengthy. All I truly wanted to say was the above quote and add a few things. When you have hit rock bottom you have nothing left to be afraid of, because it can only go up. You can not fail anymore. You then are limited to two choices: wallow in your misfortunes or pick yourself up and say, "why not me?". There have been times where I did ask, "why me?" and I am glad I picked myself up. If not for that moment in time I would not have realized my worth, my loves, and what I was capable of doing. Don't allow someone or something to hold you down. You will always have tomorrow. If everyone turns on you, don't turn on yourself. 

Prove it (said in a taunting voice)

Everyone has that person or people in their lives that they feel they need to "prove" themselves to. As if to say that THEIR time with you is to be won. You are in front of them and their actions are saying," dance for me puppet. Entertain me. Prove to me you are worth my time". If you are reading this thinking," Psssht. This girl is nuts. There is no one I feel that way towards" ; then you my friend are THAT person and you need to stop being a punk.

You should not have to prove your worth to another. The only person you should be proving anything to is yourself. We are not in second grade anymore. If someone challenges us with what we are doing in our lives we should just mentally walk away or say, "I'm rubber you are glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you"! You hold yourself accountable not others. Don't allow intimidation, insecurities, or anxiety to get the best of you. I always feel that I am having to clean up the word 'vomit' after I speak to certain people. My brain doesn't know when to stop and I keep going trying to say something I hope they approve of. Afterwards I am so frazzled having said WAY more than I anticipated and beat myself up for allowing the situation to get the best of me.

Stop the masochism. There will always be someone better at things, smarter than you, taller than you ( I deal with this daily), and  insert whatever else you want. You know what? That is okay. The way you treat others is enough. There is always room for improvement at any age. That is the beauty of our lives; we can always improve. We are only as great as we allow ourselves to be. I'll end this with a quote from a very unlikely source that will probably make you groan in disgust, but I don't care.... "I'd rather not be appreciated being honest, than be appreciated not being honest." via Juan Pablo on 'The Bachelor'. See I knew there was I reason I watch trashy television.

The definition of crazy is doing the same thing expecting different results

"In our lives we will be given many opportunities to grow and to improve. We  must take advantage of them and be willing to accept change when it will improve our lives and the lives of those whom we love." 

It's hard to change for the better. It's hard to change period. That requires work. I always am torn between feeling as if I have too much on my plate or as if I have done too little that day. Where is the sanity in that? How is that helping me grow in any way? Evaluating my actions and behaviors is a normal process. How can I grow if I don't hold myself accountable for the things I have done that day? Judging where I lacked; is not. You will always feel as if you didn't do enough that day. At the end of the day to promote a healthy, positive attitude towards yourself you need to focus on what you did right and give praise where it is due. Are your kids alive? Check. I didn't kill them. That's a HUGE gold star for you. No handcuffs or you on the eleven o'clock news. Did you smile or laugh that day?

Check. I laughed instead of beating my kid for drawing on my blinds. It did look a little "dirty". Yes, sometimes it's ok to think like a twelve year old if it gets you laughing. Did you help someone? If so, then I think you did pretty well that day. 

To find the beauty you must be willing to see things differently than you already do. Go to bed thinking positive thoughts and you will wake up in a better mood. If you have the choice to laugh or cry at a situation; always choose laughter. Plus, added bonus it works your abs in case you feel like you suck at working out, which I do. Be a happy, positive person and your children will reflect that. Even though Dwight Schrute says," showing your teeth is a sign of weakness" do it anyways. People are prettier when they smile. See! Check that off your list about not feeling pretty enough. You smiled,therefore you were prettier today.