Shine bright like a diamond

"Sometimes the tough moments in life often make way for greater things than you could possibly imagine."

Seven years ago I received one of the greatest trials in my life; the beginning of the end of my first marriage. I was blind sighted, confused, angry, and devastated. It felt as if I was the punch line to a cruel joke. We took the same vows knelt over an alter, yet I was the only one who had kept my end of the promise. Divorce is the same as experiencing a death, only the death are parts of yourself that you will never get back. You begin to slowly unravel because you had become so vulnerable with this other person. You had given them pieces of yourself that you would never get back. Left naked standing in front of the one person that promised to always be there for you asking," why?" knowing you will never get the truth. 

It took me awhile to see my trials as "presents" in disguise; especially this "present". Mind you this "present" was one I wanted to Rachel the hell out of.... F.R.I.E.N.D.S. lovers will understand this, but for those who haven't watched that show/episode Rachel is exposed as a serial gift returner. I found myself wishing I had a receipt. I didn't want this "present". Picture the largest "present" wrapped all pretty with ribbons and bows, but once you start to open the box a cannon full of confetti blasts you in the face. I was disoriented, trying to get my bearings, not entirely sure what had just happened. Confetti was everywhere. It was in that moment I knew this confetti would never be completely gone from my life. There were days where I laid in the confetti feeling defeated others where it felt that all I ever did was clean up the mess the "present" had left. My mother had spent countless hours sweeping alongside me. She was my personal angel. Her love carried me through each aching day. I was never alone. 

As I had searched this "present" for something of value I found two small, flawless diamonds. One I rocked to bed each night with tears in my eyes feeling as if I failed her and the other allowed me to cry on her shoulders. Never judging. Always there to pick me up and dust off the confetti from the hard to reach places. I slowly realized that one of these diamonds wouldn't be in my life had I not received that particular "present". The diamonds were the same size as the confetti and had the light not shown so brightly on them, I would've missed them completely. Over the years I have learned of more effective ways to clean the confetti, making sure to carefully search for the small diamonds that I know I will continually find if only I look. I know I will never be the same woman I was that first opened that particular "present" and frankly I'm grateful for that. Five of the infinite diamonds I have received came from that "present". They are the ones I have the most gratitude for. 

Now if only my hypothetical diamonds were real then I'd make a suit of them. Name that show.