The children behave better than the dog and the dog behaves better than the children. Your humble abode is immaculate. That dinner, in which you chopped up jalapenos for, reminds you to wash your hands with soap BEFORE you step into the shower to wash your face with said hands. Face, lips, and eyes didn't feel like acid was burning your flesh off from the previously used jalapenos. Patty cake wasn't a comical routine played on your rump, as the little ones playfully mentioned words like... Large. Jiggly. Squishy. Funny.
After showering, all the hairs on your head fell delicately into place and looked as if you spent hours masterfully sculpting each individual strand. You glance in the mirror thinking," If I wasn't already spoken for I would date the hell out myself." Blowing kisses to yourself while exiting the bathroom, you stumble upon 365 love letters written in the past year (one for each day) by your love. Oh yes, they are so in love with you. You are their very existence. The table is set. Dinner was finished by little elves. Kids are looking as if they were taken from the very pages of 'W' magazine.
You finish up your day at a gala and not the grocery store. Wearing nothing but the best of the best. People break out in a choreographed number just for you and then you are escorted by helicopter to a breathtaking view of the ocean.......... Yeah, me neither. Oh, well tomorrow is another day. I blame my mother and The Hallmark Channel she subjected me to. And Disney. Real life Disney princes are kinda jerks. I mean look at Aladdin. He was a homeless guy, compulsive liar, his only friend was a 'talking' monkey, and he still got the girl. Don't even get me started on The Beast.... Controlling much?
Side Note: This post is in no way an attack against my husband. He is my very existence ;)
